SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH: Balancing Parenting and Self Care

SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH: Balancing Parenting and Self Care
Most of us become parents and our entire world is focused around our children. We want to make sure their needs are met: food, sanitation, shelter, clothing, etc. Some of us “go all out” to fulfill some of their wants. Let’s not forget the most important thing children need: ATTENTION. Many times I hear parents say: “My kid/kids come first.” Even though that is responsible and respectful, it is not realistic in my opinion.

Why isn’t putting your kid first realistic, Lorri?
Well, it’s simple. How well can you take care of your child if you’re down? Sick? Depressed? Exhausted? I’m not sure if you’ve ever heard the saying: “You can’t pour from an empty cup”, well it’s true. So how do we fill this cup and keep it full? Self care.

As a mother of 3 children (ages 15, 7 and 1), self care has been helping me stay mentally and physically healthy while raising them. There once was a time I completely neglected my needs and it landed me in a really terrible space. I turned into someone I no longer recognized. I couldn’t even be the mother I wanted to be for my kids. I had to change that.

I started therapy, which opened my eyes to the ugly truth: I was not taking care of myself.The very change I needed all started with a pen and paper. I wrote a list of things that I enjoyed doing. No matter how minor they were, I saw my list growing while realizing I haven’t been doing any of the things. 😩 Minor things like: watching a funny movie, coloring in adult coloring books, taking a walk by myself, dancing, reading, etc.. That definitely had to change.

I started implementing things in my daily schedule. I set a time aside called “Mommy Time”. It’s a time when the kids are fed, clean and in the bed. That’s when I “fill my cup”. I turn on my favorite tunes, maybe have a cocktail or wine... dance, talk to friends on the phone or watch something comedic. Anything that makes me feel good! I look forward to “Mommy Time” daily just as I look forward to seeing my kids happy.

Practicing self care daily makes me feel better overall. It feels good to get to know who you truly are, what you truly like. It personally has made me a more patient and energetic mother. My aura is even different, people that have known me for years can see it. Wow! Self care is extremely important. So I challenge you all to make a list of what makes you happy, things you can do during and after this quarantine. Practice a couple of these things daily, see how begin to feel. MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF! You could improve the quality of your life with those simple things...

About the Author
Lorri “Lady L” Thomas
Visual Artist, Professional Tattooer, Founder of the “Ladies of Ink Tour”
@ladyltatts @ladiesofinktour @ladiesofinktour_canada

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